Is it normal to not always feel like going to therapy?

Dear Reader, 

Even when therapy is helpful, it can feel hard to keep up with. Working on your mental health takes effort, and it's normal to struggle with motivation sometimes. Whatever the reason, recognizing how you feel is the first step toward making a change that better meets your needs. 

How does motivation affect your desire to go to therapy? 

Sometimes people just don’t want to do things, even if they know it’s helpful for them. Therapy can be a great source of support, but for some, regular sessions can feel exhausting at times. 

Some research links motivation to attend therapy to the quality of your relationship with your therapist. Other research points to how mental health concerns like anxiety can directly impact your motivation to be in therapy. Research aside, dips in motivation are very human.  Sometimes you may not feel like going to therapy, just as you don't always feel like exercising or doing other healthy habits (but do them anyway!). 

How might your relationship with your therapist affect your desire to go to therapy? 

 Your therapist’s behavior and character, the type of treatment you’re receiving, and the stage of treatment you’re in all play a role. Keep in mind, it’s your therapist’s job to keep you engaged and informed of your progress in therapy. They’re also responsible for helping you work through any dips in motivation or other concerns about therapy as part of their work with you. Although discussing the therapy experience itself can feel somewhat awkward, it may help clarify any concerns and foster a more open conversation. 

 You can reflect on whether your relationship with your therapist might affect how you feel. You might ask yourself: How do you feel when you’re about to meet with them? How do you feel they respond to you in session? How do you feel about the type of therapy you’re receiving? Do you know what stage of the process you’re in, and if not, do you feel comfortable asking? From here, you can consider what future therapy looks like for you. 

What are other factors that might make you less motivated to go to therapy?  

Anything from a sudden change in insurance coverage to a packed schedule can make therapy feel harder to manage. Dips in motivation can be a result of one or some combination of:  

• Financial costs. Therapy can be expensive. Changes in your personal finances or insurance coverage can impact the resources you’re able to put into therapy.  
• In-person or remote therapy. Some people prefer to meet with their therapist in person while others prefer meeting remotely. Some people find in-person therapy more formal and virtual therapy more casual. 
• Logistics and scheduling. Things like travel, transportation, or a busy schedule can make therapy harder to fit in. Ultimately, external factors that might make it harder to go to therapy could change how valuable therapy feels for you currently. It might not mean you have to completely stop therapy. Being open about these challenges can help you and your therapist find an approach that works better for you. 

What can you do if you don’t always feel like going to therapy?  

Here are some options you might consider when you don’t feel up to going to therapy:  

• Consider bringing up your feelings. It may be helpful to bring up your feelings in a therapy session and see what comes from the conversation. Talking about how something doesn’t feel like it’s working might feel daunting. Even so, it can be an effective way to improve your relationship!   
• Change up the logistics. This may include changing how often you go or choosing in-person or virtual sessions. 
• Shop around. It could be the case that your relationship with your therapist is reaching a natural end. It may be time to move onto a new therapist who can provide a different perspective or treatment style to continue your mental health journey.  
• Take a break. You may just need a break from therapy to spend more time practicing what you’ve worked on in your daily life. Therapy can be a short-term, long-term, or even lifelong process for some people. It’s always something you can return to.  

Ebbs and flows in therapy are part of the process. Hopefully you feel more empowered to take the next step for your mental health!